rant & roll

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not particularly a pizza person but hooray for soggy birthday pizza !
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studying out with marielle
aka endless chatter @ tnt instead of studying
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for portfolio purposes hah

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week two in photos.

wish i had the luxury to share cool stuff with you guys (like idk… hiking stories?!) but alas my uninspired self has done nothing to remedy this dull situation. other than complaining about not having anything worthwhile to do, i have nothing more to talk about. my birthday? i have witnessed a lot of my friends scream and cry over turning a twenty-three but the woes of turning a year older has not hit me yet, although i am pretty sure the harsh reality of this ridiculous number will come soon enough. work? unless one of the three emails i sent out is replied to, my heart will continue to bask in the freedom i only partially deserve.

maybe next week. bye.

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first we feel then we fall

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two things for 2018, both related to an association of ideas and reality.

the first has to do with taking my camera with me everywhere i go — downstairs to play with max, dinner with my very persistent friend chiara, or to the workplace which i ought to have by the end of the month (please! my lazy adult ass needs to get moving).

i figured if i could actually see my progress by documenting my every single move then i would slowly be able translate the gibberish in my head into actual concrete steps to restore the disaster that was the last seventeen months of my life, being the mess that i am unfortunately known for.

in turn, i vow to update this space as often as possible for as long as a functioning laptop is within reach. no more excuses.

to start, here is my entire first week of the year in photos:

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i guess this is… okay? for someone who barely stepped out of the house? (nts: go out more) Anyway.

the second thing is to let go. of my hesitation. of my reluctance. of my fears. and just DO. this is infinitely more difficult than having to lug a heavy camera around my neck all day long but it can be done.

it is so easy to take the path of life based on what people expect of me, but i have gone far too long suppressing myself from what i want and where i truly want to go. this year will be about finding little victories in the mundane and placing my heart at the edge of my soul to move forward.

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ig / twt